


take these broken wings (and learn to fly again)

by Blackbeyond



Series: Giveaway Fics [4]
Category: Kingsman (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Domestic, Eventual Happy Ending, Grieving, Harry Lives, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-18
Updated: 2016-08-18
Packaged: 2018-08-09 14:11:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,115
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7804867
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackbeyond/pseuds/Blackbeyond
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It’s not an easy adjustment to a Kingsman without Harry.</p><p>Eggsy notices the ring on Merlin’s finger during one of their meetings. He’s taken over as Galahad temporarily, finishing whatever missions Harry had left behind and completing tasks that needed to be done immediately. He’s been so busy that he missed so much. Like the wedding ring on Merlin’s finger, and the emptiness in Merlin’s eyes now that Harry was gone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	take these broken wings (and learn to fly again)

**Author's Note:**

> For @fangirl-maketh-fics on Tumblr

It’s not an easy adjustment to a Kingsman without Harry.

Directly after defeating Valentine, Eggsy had been over the moon, high on excitement and adrenaline and jumping into bed with a Swedish princess before he’d even had a moment to think about anything else.

It wasn’t until he returned to the Kingsman plane that reality had come crashing down on him.

Harry was dead. His mum might have hurt Daisy. A huge chunk of the Earth’s population was probably dead, and there would be less dead if he’d only killed Valentine faster.

There may have been an obscene amount of drinking done on the plane as Merlin took him and Roxy back to headquarters. A lot of crying too, Eggsy sobbing with relief when his mum answered his phone call and he heard Daisy crying in the background. Jamal and Ryan had also turned up at his mum’s, shouting to see if Eggsy was alright while Michelle assured Eggsy that everyone was fine.

It didn’t fix a lot of his guilt, but at least he had managed to stop Valentine before something had happened to the people he held dear to him.

Roxy threw herself into her training, ready to take over the duties of the Knights who had died as a result of aligning themselves with Valentine.

Merlin took over as Arthur temporarily, always busy with meetings and paperwork and drinking.

Maybe it’s why it took Eggsy so long to notice how far gone Merlin was.

Merlin had been in the same boat as Eggsy on the way back from Valentine’s base. Adrenaline running though his veins, giddy from their win, crashing as soon as they got back to Kingsman and realized that they’d lost so much.

Eggsy notices the ring on Merlin’s finger during one of their meetings. He’s taken over as Galahad temporarily, finishing whatever missions Harry had left behind and completing tasks that needed to be done immediately. He’s been so busy that he missed so much. Like the wedding ring on Merlin’s finger, and the emptiness in Merlin’s eyes now that Harry was gone.

“Were you two married?” Eggsy finally brings himself to ask during one of their meetings. Merlin stops writing, instinctively reaching for his ring before he looks up at the younger man. No words are said, but Eggsy feels his heart clench just looking at the utter despair in Merlin’s eyes. Merlin looks lost, and frightened, and lonely and Eggsy can’t imagine what it feels like. He feels so out of it being at Kingsman without Harry and he’d known the man for less than a year. Merlin had known him since Harry joined Kingsman decades ago.

“Twenty years,” Merlin confirms, voice hoarse as he struggles to get the words out. “Engaged after his first mission out and married after my first mission out.”

“Did anyone know?”

“Lancelot did. Percival as well.”

There’s a silence as Eggsy takes in this information. There’s so much he didn’t know about Harry, about Merlin, about Kingsman, but he still feels connected to it all somehow. He didn’t get much time with Harry, but what time he had spent with the older man was precious. The lessons he learned from Harry, the secrets about his father’s time at Kingsman, the truth about the dog test in the end before Harry had left…

“I miss him,” Eggsy admits. “Not as much as you must miss him, obviously…but-“

“He loved you, you know,” Merlin interjects, and continues on as if he hadn’t just thrown Eggsy for a loop, “he was quite fond of you. Wanted to bring you home to me and keep you.”

“I- you were okay with that?” There’s no time for shock right now; Eggsy just hopes he hadn’t ruined a marriage.

“I’m quite fond of you as well.” Merlin’s smile with small and sad, but Eggsy can’t help the blush that spreads like a wildfire across his face.

The first touch is tentative, Eggsy laying the tips of his fingers on Merlin’s intertwined hands, a sign of comfort and respect and something more.

The second touch is a week later, once Eggsy has had time to process what he’s been told. Merlin gives him space, knowing that Eggsy is a young man with a life to live, who shouldn’t be stuck with an old man who wants too much now that his husband is dead. But Eggsy shows him otherwise, finding him in his office at Kingsman and sitting beside him and laying his head on Merlin’s shoulder.

The third touch is sweet, the lightest contact between their lips as Eggsy absentmindedly thanks Merlin for a report he’d been looking for. It takes them both by surprise, but Merlin is receptive, and Eggsy continues to touch tentatively.

Which leads to the fourth touch, and fifth, and sixth, and seventh…

Eggsy loses track of how many times he’s touched Merlin. It’s not always sexual, or romantic. They’re still testing each other, still hesitant to touch, unsure if what is blossoming between them is real or the byproduct of grief or both.

But they still touch. Eggsy massaging Merlin’s temples after Merlin complains softly of the headache that’s been plaguing him all day. Merlin squeezing Eggsy’s shoulder in reassurance after a particularly unpleasant mission. Eggsy leaning against Merlin for support. Merlin kissing Eggsy’s knuckles in the middle of a meeting. Eggsy pressing their lips together after a long day.

Eggsy moves into Merlin and Harry’s home after five months. He learns that Merlin and Harry did live together, but since Merlin was a proctor of the recruits’ trials, he had to remain unbiased during the Knight and Trainee 24 hours together. He’d been in one of the spare rooms at Kingsman while Harry had shown Eggsy his walls of tabloid covers and taught him how to make a martini.

Eggsy adjusts to the more domestic side of their relationship, still creeped out on occasion by Mr. Pickle in the downstairs bathroom and sometimes tearing up when he sees Harry’s red robe in the upstairs bedroom closet.

Merlin learns how to live with another person that isn’t Harry. He works around Eggsy’s sleeping schedule, learns about Eggsy’s allergies and eating preferences. He gets accustomed to walking around JB, who sleeps in the kitchen corner and happily eats any of the scraps that fall from the counter.

They begin to get into the grove of things a month after Eggsy moves in, and by the time their first anniversary comes around, it’s like they’ve been living together for years.

The day after their anniversary, Harry appears on their door step, almost a year and a half after being declared KIA in Kentucky.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm on [](http://takeanotherpieceofmyhartwin.tumblr.com>tumblr!</a>)


End file.
